Essentials for Any Relationship
I believe that there are 5 essentials in any relationship. This is my personal opinion. I’ve noticed that people who lack these essentials have the tendency to fight more often and eventually part ways. While there are many factors involved, these are my top 5. I truly believe every relationship, without these 5 principles, will ultimately fail. Everything on this list is two-dimensional. You should expect and provide value throughout all these 5 principles. Apply this to your relationship; your friends, family, and significant other.
1 | Happiness
Above all, you produce the most amount of smiles and the least amount of tears. You make them happier and laugh more than anyone else in their life. You also create the least amount of frustration in their life compared to everyone else. You’re the solution, not the problem; the cure, not a disease.
I wouldn't want to go as far and say “I am responsible for their happiness”. I think we are all responsible for our own happiness. However, I know I play a significant role. I know that I would rather be a source of smiles than tears.
2 | Success
Identify what THEY define as their own success. What are their goals and missions? Prove, not tell, but show them that you want them to achieve their goals. You want them to be successful on their own terms. In some cases, you are more determined and motivated to help them achieve their goals than they are willing to help themself.
3 | Stress
Handling stressful situations together. Don’t say things out of anger. Don’t be passive-aggressive. Explain your feelings and seek to understand their feelings before you doubt them. Ask questions to understand, not to undermine.
If you ask the right questions, you give them the opportunity to define their feelings. If their feelings are truly invalid, this gives them the opportunity to make that call. That's their call to make, not your's. They needs to define their emotion and digest it. All the while, you’re supporting them emotionally by simply seeking to understand.
As I said before, this is 2-dimensional. For example, I might get frustrated for no reason. With the help of my relationships, I will define what is going on. Then, I come to the conclusion that my feelings are invalid. I just needed to shake it off. My feelings of frustration were real, but pointless. Rather than someone else telling me that I’m “overreacting”, I was able to come to this conclusion myself. There is a big difference.
4 | Money
Talk about money and finances. Set time aside to teach one another about money. Learn together. Schedule time simply to talk about money. Aside from infidelity, financial problems is the main cause for divorce. Ironically, a divorce will also worsen your financial problems. We need money to survive. There are plenty of problems that are far more important than money. Don't waste your time fighting about money.
5 | Forgiveness
Forgive and forget. Most problems should not define your relationship. Learn to move on and prevent the problems from happening again. It’s best to wait until the tension has passed. Finding solutions is much easier when everyone can think clearly. A small fight or disagreement is not the definition of your relationship.